Iâ€™ve recently been inspired to talk about these bodies of ours… these beautiful, sacred, wise and sexy bodies of ours!Â So in the coming days and weeks, Iâ€™d like to share some of my thoughts.Â This feature could come in two, three, or three hundred installments!Â I donâ€™t know, Iâ€™d just like to see where this dialogue takes us. I donâ€™t pretend to be an expert on the subject, just a woman sharing her experience, and my hope is that youâ€™re inspired to share yours with me.
So to begin, I will admit that I have a tenuous, almost antagonistic, relationship with my body. Itâ€™s tough for me to say that. I want to say that IÂ loveÂ my body, that I love it without exception. But the truth is that since I can remember, there has been lots of taunting, rude self-talk, the occasional bout of starvation, constant exercise, and a few spells of adoration sprinkled in. Iâ€™m always aiming towards loving myself, but the internal journey; the daily reality of what that journey looks like is not always pretty. Â I am not obsessed with my weight, but as I write this I am aware that it has always been up there on my list. How I feel about my body is inextricably tied to how desirable and â€œkick assâ€ I feel. On a good day, my kick-ass-ness is determined by:
1.) My spiritual connection (which covers a lot of ground: my connection to others and nature, esteem-able acts, service, willingness, Â Â Â openness, laughter, my ability to show up and participate in my life, wonderful food, self-careâ€¦)
2.) My clothing (my armor and protection)
3.) My body
4.) My hair (I have pretty much mastered my hair at this point, lol)
However, depending on which mirror I happen to walk past, and the lighting itâ€™s accompanied by (and I love to walk by a mirror) how I feel about my body can trump even God if I am not mindful.
That being said, I think itâ€™s impossible to talk about our bodies, without considering its placement in a larger, societal context. Â For as long as I have been on my journey to celebrating my body, I have thought about how culture and history have played into my perception of what is â€œideal.â€Â Especially since so much of my frustration with my body has been about, well, myÂ ass.