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A Culture Confused by Fake Boobs

Tracee Ellis Ross - Boobs and Comments
A Culture Confused by Fake Boobs Posted on September 27th, 2012 in Musings.

I’m often asked online why I don’t wear bras. It’s a strange question, usually followed by something about how I need to “lift ’em up.”

I realize I’m not the only person faced with odd or inappropriate “comments” left on their photos; nor am I the only person confronted by this modern issue of boob placement.

Bras and our ever evolving breasts are a topic I often hear discussed by women. Just the other day at the gym, a woman asked me if she should get a lift because, as she put it, she was pushing 40 and after two kids she just wanted to feel sexy again. Though her husband was against it, she was still clearly struggling with the decision (after all, she was asking the opinion of a complete stranger). I think that the new norm of fake boobs has confused us all. We have forgotten what real boobs look like.

I believe our bodies are sacred and wise and beautiful. I’m drawn to anything “natural”, and so, I love boobs of all shapes and sizes: big, small, sloppy, raisins, tits, milk-duds, fake, real, flat, bra or no bra. I call my breasts “boobs”, but if I was looking at my breasts from the outside I would probably refer to them as tits. I think my tits are quite pretty and I like where God placed them. They are teardrop-shaped, which is to say they’re bottom heavy. They make me feel French and I think French women are sexy. The chest of a French woman is gorgeous. They call it la poitrine, and to me it’s one of the most elegant parts of a woman’s body.

To be clear, I have nothing against fake breasts. Though some do look painful and out of place in my eyes, what you choose to do with your body is your choice. That said, fake breasts seem to be the norm nowadays, a new aesthetic that has lead to some confusion: it’s as if people have forgotten that breasts don’t naturally protrude from your neck. Even designers have been forced to reshape their patterns to match the ever-changing placement of the female breast.

A fake breast is different from a natural breast. A fake breast often sit differently on the chest, higher up, almost fruit-like. Fake breasts don’t always need a bra to sit up. They’re just perky on their own and when you lay on your back they look just like they do when you’re standing up. 

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  • Lette

    I love this article. Thank you for posting.

  • I absolutely love this post! I actually read it in your character’s voice from Kanye’s ‘Workout Plan’

    I’m 27 years old and I’ve finally accepted the fact that I may never go past an ‘A Cup.’ I would be lying if I said that I’ve never thought about getting implants but the consequences are too risky.

    I’ve learned to deal with the good and bad living the life of an ‘A cup.’ I hate that I can’t fill out certain shirts that I want. I love that I can get away with not wearing a bra all the time. I hate that no matter what bra I purchase it never really fits. I love that I can sleep on my stomach comfortably.

    At the end of the day, I love my natural flat ass breasts! :)

    • Gwendolyn Carter

      Kimmy I’m right there with you, 27 and a 34A. I love to watch how their shape changes with my hormones every month. How they ironically sag sometimes, and other times they sit up full and perky like I’m 17 again. I’ve always hated wearing bras (i just don’t think it’s necessary) and I love that although there are some clothes I just won’t fill out, there are others that just wouldn’t look as great on others as they do on me. Cheers to loving our boobs, tits, or other wise just the way they are.

  • It’s funny I didn’t start LOVING my boobs until after I had (and nursed) my first baby! My boobs were good sized and dense. I could never get the no-bra or more understated demure trends. I like the versatility of understated demure boobs, and I didn’t get that until now…and until I stopped wearing Victoria Secret bras. lol

  • mayday731

    Thank you for this article. I am a 46yr black woman and I have small breast. I have not worn a bra in about 25 years and I don’t feel that I need to because of my size. In the past I thought about getting implants but changed my mind and I’m really glad that I did, because I LOVE my small breast, tits, boobs or whatever you want to call them:)

  • T. Espi

    “online anonymity means that people can throw their words out without taking responsibility for them” <—So freakin' true!
    Anywho, Love the article, love my boobs and love that you love yours!

  • Maggie T.

    I love this so much! I’ve been watching how my boobs lie for as long as I can remember. I’ve watched them do all kinds of things… especially after I had my sons. I’ve thought about getting a lift, but ya know what? NAH! I like me. Even though “the girls” aren’t as perky as they once were, they’re still here and they’re healthy and they’re part of me. Lastly, I go braless sometimes in the summer… I don’t love bras. I wear them because of society’s expectations. There… I said it. LOL!!!

  • i love love love this post! flat, round, pink or brown breast come in all diff shapes and sizes. i love my “tig’ole bitties” and they love me! so sad how people just immediately pass judgement or want you to look like everyone else. This is why i love you Ms. Ellis-Ross because you’re you and you don’t apologize about it. In honor of all the long hanging titties out there I humbly THANK YOU for this post.

  • Mia

    Proud member of the IBTC LOL love this post

  • niki d.

    great post!!

  • Simmy

    Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Miss Ross!!!!! Okayyy!!! I have been “crucified” (<–okay choice of words may be a little MUCH)…b/c of my decision to NOT wear a bra! I thiink bras are uncomfortable and unnatural and quite frankly…I prefer the shape and hang of my natural breasts over a them enhanced by a bra ANY DAY! i can appreciate a female's body and I think the female form is sooo beautiful…and perfect the way it is. I love female curves..whether it's the curve that little pouch we sometimes get above our pelvic area…or its the curve of a female's hips…its beautiful…its natural..its perfect…"flaws" and all. So, Miss Fabulous Hair/Fashion Idol of all young black girls, I salute you for writing this and I hope this helps "us" women appreciate our bodies that much more. #teamnobra :) Love ya!

  • “I believe our bodies are sacred and wise and beautiful…”

    Thanks for that! Love it!!

  • Wonderfully put, and I am in total agreement ! :)

  • Yellowannie

    I love this topic! I LOVE your breast! I like seeing a woman when she doesn’t have a bra on, I think it’s sexy! I prefer the flat look when I wear clothes. I hate the padded bras or anything that makes my breasts look unnatural. Thank you for sharing & talking about this topic :)

  • Amen to this! Society often forgets what a woman with all of her natural parts looks like. EVERY woman deserves to be celebrated!

  • Breesunni215

    WOW this is great!!!!! I absolutely love what you said. After I had my second daughter at the age of 22 and breast fed both girls for a total of 3 years my breast looked like all of the fat had been completely sucked out of them. And to make matters worse my EX husband told me that no one would want me because my boobs looked like pancakes…well needless to say I became comfortable with the way my boobs looked and happy that I choose to breast feed my children and I got over it. Found me another man that loves and accepts me and my saggy boobs and we are getting married next year… saying all this to say….what you wrote is beautiful and touching and hopefully will help a lot of woman feel more comfortable with what God have them. Accepting yourself for who you really are is such a wonderful thing and we really do need more people out here that celebrate being natural and loving themselves

    • NYCGal

      Amen to that!

    • Avis Evans

      Glad that you haxe a giant EX in front of that husband!

  • I love this article. Sometimes I clicked onto your website and thought, “how vain, all she cares about are things and clothes.” I was wrong. This is definitely an empowerment perspective. I will think about my breasts differently from now on. Also I saw a speech you gave about self esteem a couple of years ago, but I don’t know where to find it. If you know what I’m talking about, could you direct me to the website? I look forward to seeing more of your thoughts. Power to the temple! (body that is). Congrats Tracee, thanks for teaching other people about their value and beauty.

  • tompj

    great post

  • elleandthecity

    This was an excellent post! You are a class act, Tracee.

  • Francisca Lopez

    Yess!! THANK YOU!!! I am happy with my sweet lil california raisins! :D

  • jerzigrl

    Love this! Thank you for reminding us that God doesn’t make mistakes. There is no one form of beauty. Beauty comes in all colors, shapes and sizes.

  • way to go Tracee!!! I love the confidence that you speak with.

  • Love love love the article and I also think that confidence is what makes a woman sexy and beautiful, so kudos to you Tracee for loving your body as it is.

  • Monica Session

    Well said

  • Jai

    As a Man….In my opinion your breasts are ideal. Don’t change a thing. I would love to find a swimsuit photo of you, but for now your caftan photo in the hills is my personal favorite..

  • Shan

    YEESSSSSS! I too have boobs like yours. I love them because I can wear deep v’s and paper thin tees without looking suggestive.

  • LaShea

    Love this message. Very beautiful. I do admit that while I have all the confidence in the world, my breasts are the only part of me I’m ‘insecure” about. They are naturally a 34c but not really perky at all. Or at least not in the sense mainstream society deemed they should be. So I find myself wearing push-up/padded bras all the time (which are not the most comfortable) or left feeling kind of self conscious when not wearing one which is weird because I prefer to be natural majority of the time. However, you’ve given me the confidence to really embrace what I have without feeling insecure about it because others tell me I should be. You are beautiful. Love you Tracee!!!

  • Profound. I plan to share this with my Sociology students. You have a wonderful perspective on inner beauty.

  • Akilah

    I for one, personally LOVE your tits! I think they look fabulous in pretty much everything you wear! I probably feel this way because my boobs are a similar size and shape to yours! I think there is nothing sexier than a woman with small natural boob going braless! It’s just elegant and timeless to me! Keep doing what you do with ‘the girls’ because it is gorgeous on you and appreciated I’m sure by many more! Tracee for PRESIDENT of the itty-bitty NATURAL titty commitee! Also, LOVEEEE the site! <3 xoxo

  • traceefan

    Good topic. I would love nothing more than to be able to celebrate my natural breasts, but last year at 38 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had them removed. I now have no choice but to have implants, so I urge women to be grateful and proud of your natural breasts. I’d love to have saggy, flat, small, natural and HEALTHY breasts again.

  • Guest

    Good topic. I would love nothing more than to be able to celebrate my natural breasts, but last year at 38 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had them removed. I now have no choice but to have implants, so I urge women to be grateful and proud of your natural breasts. I’d love to have saggy, flat, small, natural and HEALTHY breasts again.

    • You’re a survivor…God bless you!!!

    • NYCGal

      You are a brave survivor

    • Jacky

      Wow! thanks for sharing your story and i pray that you find even more success and beauty than before you had breast cancer in your life in Amen.

    • Guest

      I just read this blog and cried while reading it and thankful for your comment because I had natural breasts and loved them even though I had two kids and breastfed – they were still natural and beautiful to me and my awesome husband. Got diagnosed with breast cancer two months ago and had a double mastectomy and now in the process of reconstruction. I have hard as rock tissue expanders in – a step towards the implants and cry every day wishing to have my natural (albeit minus cancer) breasts bag. Yeah, they sagged a little but they were mine with a great history! No longer feeling sensation in my nipples which i was the few women blessed to be able to have nipple orgasms are a thing of the past. REALLY pissed off at that. So my new normal will consist of implants. Going to try and get them to look as natural as possible. I love Tracee for embracing the beauty of natural breasts. They are who we are and should be damn proud of them. As a former actress, I can seriously visualize the bullshit that went on in that horrid audition where they made her put on a pull up bra. Good for you Tracee for being a natural woman! I’d do anything for my natural boobs again and would probably run through the street topless in celebration. No big deal in NYC! Love and peace to all and a blessed New Year. –
      — Boobless (for the moment) in the City

  • Mr Mambo

    As a man I have to say I prefer natural breasts. Natural breasts as you said move in a way that just looks & feels great. Big breasts, small breasts, saggy breasts, nipple proud breasts, uneven breasts are all good to me. I don’t know where things went wrong regarding ‘shop bought’ breasts. Maybe Hollywood has something to do with that.
    I commend you on staying natural considering your area of work. x

  • GO BOOBS! Of all shapes and sizes! This post was extremely real and raw and that’s precisely what we needed here, not just on this website but in reality. Your post made me look under my shirt and say COOL. I am right where I need to be: beautiful, unique, round, and shapely, yep no one quite like me. Since I do go bra shopping, which is frustrating as ever, what are the best ways to keep that positive attitude amidst the challenges of channeling bustyville.

  • Chellj

    Loved it!

  • First and foremost, Good Day T.E.R! I love this article! I work at a Cosmetic Center where I see sooo many women come in and get fake boobies. Some for vain reasons, others for medical reasons. People do not see the after effects of getting fake boobies. We have women who come back b/c the fake boobie is uncomfortable or they developed a hematoma(blood clot). And the women who come in with a hematoma are in SOOO much pain. But like you said to each her own! I’m not judging one bit! B/c I have always wanted to get a lift!! I still do! I have no kids, and my ‘bestfriends’ are sagging like I had 7 of them! Am I blessed to have them, yes, but I’m tired of buying push up
    Thanks for posting!

  • Anna Reynolds

    Just what I needed to hear today…

  • DawnAlexa

    Tracey… I really Love you for this!

  • Nesheaholic

    Really great post.

  • J Grant

    Great post. And coming from a man that likes the boobies, yours are beautiful. Fake breast are cool if that’s what you like, but each of us are uniquely shaped and we should embrace our uniqueness. Truth is you can alter your body, but that doesn’t alter the person inside. I feel a person doesn’t embrace their inner being they will forever be altering their bodies and still not feel sexy. Everyone is entitled to do with their bodies as they see fit, but I’m glad that you are comfortable with who you are and every time I see you it shows! Again, great post.

  • SweetestT

    Great post. I love my handful of natural tit. They make me feel sexy, feminine and individualistic. I say celebrate and accentuate what you have. People have forgotten what natural breasts look like and how they move because we see fake breasts so often now. However, at the end of the day I say do what you need to do to find your inner peace, I get it. I guess I’m just one of the lucky ones that has found peace inside and outside of herself.

  • This was so incredibly well said! I don’t have the exact same breast issue, but people LOVE to comment on the fact that I’ve had four children and they’ve stayed small. Like I broke some kind of law by not doubling in size with every child. People are also unafraid to express their shock/surprise/interest in the increase/decrease of my lower half without solicitation. Wtf is wrong with people??

  • Flaiti

    I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 35 years old. I’m 37 now. I had to get a mastectomy on the one “offending” breast. After the surgery, I opted for reconstruction — i.e., an implant. I had/have never been interested in body manipulation, and here I was not only getting an implant, but several months later a tattoo as well (In order to simulate an areola, the doctor tattoos one on the area where it once was)!! Who knew, right?! There are necessary boob jobs and then there are the not so urgently needed ones, I guess. But I also think we romanticize “natural” as much as we glorify the “fake.” In any case, I don’t want to be the Debbie Downer in this celebration of “natural breasts,” but I did want to make sure that we who had/have no choice had a voice here too. LOVE you & “the ladies,” Tracee E. Ross! Thanks for this site!

  • Beautiful Message! Tracee, I laughed out loud, thought deeply, and smiled while reading this! You are so funny and I didn’t know we were the same age until recently! Cool! My boobies after breast feeding 2 of my three chidren are… Good Golly Miss Molly!! lol They are doing their own thing now and needless to say I don’t think about surgery. Yes, you want them to stand at attention like before but, that’s what happens sometimes. One Man told me that just the thought that I can have children makes me look sexy. Its our bodies, it’s what we have. They are beautiful and sexy…whichever way! You can enhance with bras, lifts or whatever to each is own…but at then end you should and always except YOU for YOU!! Thank YOU for sharing and making me smile!! =)

  • Otis Brown III

    Love this.. thanks!

  • Well said…I got much love for you Ms.Ross. My wife tells me every week that she wants her boobs surgically adjusted…lol. She thinks our daughter destroyed her perky breast. I respond by saying “your body defines beauty and I dont want no doctor surgically altering my tatas”, my word for boobs.

    • jaycee3

      Well said brother… I’ll have to borrow that. My girlfriend is talking the same, i feel like you do…

  • Rama

    Love this topic!!!! When most people talk about breasts they talk about fake ones. Unlike you I have worn a bra since I was 13 (and not a training bra) I woke up one day and I was a C cup!!!! Can you imagine a C cup in middle school. Needless to say I dressed in baggy shirts. In College I was a DD and I switched to fitted shirts…Lol. Now I am 33 with a H cup. And Im tired of hauling these suckas around. Oh I have a small frame and only 5’3. I didnt even breast feed so they have no purpose to me. Soon as I get some extra income Im getting a reduction and a lift!!!! Cant wait to be a SMALL D. ;)

    • Faithe

      I feel you Im a 38JJ and my story is the same.Im 27 no kids and ppl say “i hope u not gonna breastfeed”, but I do want to! I’ve always been big breasted and I envied my smaller cup sisters. But Ima keep mine until something medically goes wrong *praying that it doesn’t.

  • Gerry M.

    I would like to applaud you for your candor and for the inspiration you are providing women around the world. As beautiful as you are, your intellect is the most beautiful thing about you. Kudos!

  • Tracee I applaud you. I could not have said it more eloquently than you have. We all need to be respecters of each other. All people must understand that we are like our DNA…different, unique, wonderful and ALL beautiful in our own way. Beautiful is what God made all of us. I celebrate you as a woman and ALL women….to live our lives as the Goddesses we are.

  • Nadia

    Great Article, very honest, stimulating & Real,

  • Jenny

    thank you tracee. so much. When I was ill, I had a boyfriend say my boobs were deflated. I was so upset. Healthy now…they sit lower then most yet I celebrate them! thank you! This is so inspiring. And you do look french, elegant and so gorgeous!

  • Jenny

    thank you tracee. so much. When I was ill, I had a boyfriend say my boobs were deflated. I was so upset. Healthy now…they sit lower then most yet I celebrate them! thank you! This is so inspiring. And you do look french, elegant and so gorgeous!

  • I feel liberated after reading your post. I am 37 and “the girls” definitely don’t stand up straight!! I am often self conscious of them, even if I’m alone. Society makes us feel as though they need to be standing up straight and perky, but I am also an all natural girl, which is one reason why this post has encouraged me to embrace and appreciate them in their natural state. Also, the comment of “Guest” below from a few days ago reminded me that I have a lot to thank God for…no matter how imperfect they may seem. Thanks for posting this…I needed to see this today!

  • I love, love, love this article and the positivity of it. I remember always getting teased by “friends” because I have small boobs. No matter the size I am still a woman and proud of my 30 year old B cups. They didn’t stop me from getting a husband and they don’t stop me from doing anything else. All women should be celebrated no matter what and I applaud you so very much for writing this. I always loved your personality on and off screen (and your gorg hair) and I am so looking forward to checking in on this site as I feel nothing but positivity coming from it. Thanks Tracee! :)

  • Marci

    I absolutely loved this article. Thank you for talking about what we women often are too shy or ashamed to talk about…our bodies. I see that it’s especially hard for us to talk about our bodies, let alone other women’s, in a positive manner. You’re an inspiration for us to love our bodies. I love that you’re such a positive female figure, and an icon, in my generation. Keep doing you!!!

  • Pamela Stokes Eggleston

    Good article! Wow, I did not realize that not wearing a bra could bring such commentary. Of course when I go out sans brassiere, no one notices. :-/ Alas, I am on the IBTC.

  • Faithe

    I absolutely LOVE you! This remind me of a speech I gave on breasts in my speech communications class in college. I noticed how much my neck was hurting bc of the halter bra I had on, and my topic discussed the discomfort of bras and the perception of boobs from other people. You just reiterated my opinion so clearly. Ppl are always so surprised that I have “perky” big breasts but what sucks are the measures I have to go to just to “support” them “properly”. I prefer to go braless too. All of my smaller breasts friends envy mine and I can’t understand for the life of me why some want more. Love what you have and how they sag *or don’t) God gave me these bc he knew I could handle the stigma, attention, heaviness, discomfort (mainly caused by stupid bras). The worst feeling is trying to shop for clothes that dont incorporate bust size into the fit. ugh its frustrating. But I wouldnt change a thing, I love my boobs the way they are and really can care less what other ppl ideals are! Me and my natural, 38JJ boobs celebrate you too!

  • Honey

    Awesome! I really appreciate this. Just this week I was told by a co-worker that I needed to go shopping for a new bra or two. I asked why and she said because that one is not working for you. I am petite,now, because I lost 48 lbs and well my boobs took on a whole new look and direction (down). But I love them just the way they are. And maybe I didn’t want new bras, maybe I like the way they look in my shirt. I am forwarding this to her. Thanks Tracee!

  • Nova Phoenix

    As a guy, I think fake breasts are terrible. It’s cheating. We can’t do anything to ourselves to enhance or physical appearance. Of course, there is plastic surgery for guys but there isn’t as much a social pressure to go under the knife like women. I like women that are natural. The hair, nails, booty, lips, eyes… everything. When it comes to breasts, I’m not really concerned about size. Well, honestly, I’m not really into the flat chested-ness that some women may have. It’s not a big concern but having a handful would be fine. It would have to be compensated with a nice ass though! Now, if there is a little sag, I may have an internal opinion about them but that’s just me. I accept that a women’s body is not going to be the same as it was 10 years ago. I’m cool with that. I just rather have women as they are. We’ll deal with it together where both our comfort levels are.

  • Swan

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS! I have been blessed (as my husband reminds me daily) with an ample set of boobs (of all the terms this seems to suit mine best). I’ve watched them evolve over the years and he could care less. I wish more woman could be that way about their bodies. Loving your site. Thanks so much.

  • PoppaDoc74

    I think you got nice perky plump boobs that look delisciously tasty from what little I’m able to see from the photos above

  • NYCGal

    Wonderful! I think I also go braless every chance I get. One time a man stopped me on the street and said “dayyum where are your tits?!” I was humiliated that he and his flunkies laughed at me. A total stranger. I’ve obsessed over implants but you know what on second thought. I think my little drops are just fine :) Thanks so much for sharing your story.

    • naturalme

      You should have replied “uhhum,.. and where is your dick and i’m not talking about the one sitting on your neck, dickhead?”. I hate those rude comments too esp from guys that if they look hard at themselves in the mirror, they wouldn’t be able to stop laughing.

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  • Freddie

    My bras make me sweat. I hate them but so used to wearing them. I’m going to try going natural one day. Loved your story. thanks

  • Kelly Raye

    Love this Tracee!

  • Martamique Ajoku

    tasteful & inspiring : )

  • Its is the world that label you as something being wrong with you if you don’t fit. Natural is so beautiful, it defines the very essence of a womans existence and everything that comes with that. Rock on Tracee with your natural tear drops! (Beautiful!!)

  • As a man in his fifties, I think that women who don’t want to wear a bra should not feel that society dictate that they must. As a male, I think that there is nothing more beautiful than to see a woman who is confident about her body, and not wearing a bra… my comment that its very sexy, and natural. I think that we get too hung up on socital norms , and the push up bra, the enhancement bra, is so fake and unneccessary. If you got it flaut it !

  • Thank you for defending the body in it’s natural state. We are under so much pressure in society to alter our bodies to fit into whatever societies considers “beautiful”. They tell us to chemically alter our hair. They tell us to get breast implants. They tell us to get circumcised. I don’t know how many debates and arguments I have to get into over people who think the penis, or hair, or breasts, or the vagina should somehow be altered to appease and please the whims of this backwards society. Our hair is just fine nappy. Our dicks are just fine with foreskin. Our vaginas are just fine with hair. Our breasts are just fine in their natural state. Keep up the great writing Tracee!

  • Phillip Ricketts

    Wow truly amazing post!

  • Dwaner24

    This post is the first of such observations about the effects of fake breast on cultural. I never realized that I have a programmed image of what sort of symmetry a woman’s breast are suppose to have in public. I have always had the conscious appreciation that women’s breast look different when they are free of their harness, they droop, flatten and shake like Jello. I realized that I’ve had a certain expectation that all women should wear a bra no matter the size. I naturally thought that it was for support but didn’t quite consciously realize that this society places a great deal of emphasis on the position and shape of them. As a guy we tend to place importance on the size, we assume that women tend to wear push-up bras to enhance what God didn’t give them. But the whole wearing or not wearing a bra or perhaps not wearing the right bra has somehow, at least for me anyway, has been a gauge of modesty. A large breasted girl who doesn’t have the right size bra on for her girth appears to either consciously know or doesn’t know that she’s perceived as being immodest. If you can see nipple through a shirt, it again is immodest. The female form with all its curves is something that is visually obvious to all, really only because you can clearly see the shape and size beneath the clothing but somehow for some reason, the bra provides as I mentioned an impression of either conservatism or decadence. All this based on how much cover or what position a woman’s harness gives her breast. Aren’t we weird animals? Thanks for the post Tracee.

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  • Parisina

    Merci pour la référence à la petite poitrine des françaises.

  • caramelalamode

    words cannot explain how much i lllllooooooooooovvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee this post, so hopefully the way i elongated the word “love” suffices. thank you ms ross!

    • caramelalamode

      p.s. i’ve always lllllllllooooooovvvvvvvveeeeeeeedddddddd how you don’t wear bras, it’s beautiful.

  • Ms. Ross I am sure that I speak for a large population of the educated, well to do, well put together, African American men when I say, “keep doing you just how you do!” Many a time have I wished for more down to earth, funny, intelligent, well spoken, beautiful, confident, African American women who do not take them selves to seriously, to choose from (translate: I wish I could find one!!!!!!). As a woman that exudes all of those qualities the position of your breast have absolutely never crossed my mind until this article was brought to my attention. I wish you much continued success sister.

  • Cora Ross

    I feel blessed that I can go with or without a bra even after having my daughter and being over 40…and most of the time I choose the later. It seems that my shirts and blouses fit better and flow more naturally when I don’t where a bra. The times that I do wear one, I find myself adjusting and readjusting it several times during the day, There is one tip I’d like to leave with you all, and that is if you don’t like wearing bras, buy shirts with a little spandex material and make sure that it fits tightly across the breast. That way you will have some support as well as comfort.

  • Nappii

    Hey just wanted to say thanks for this post! I recently lost around 70 pounds and my boobies are not what they used to be… But I am much more than just my cup size lol. Thanks for the reminder.

  • nnagbaro

    I have natural breasts that have been reduced to a more manageable and healthier size. After years of harassment, objectification, and chronic neck and back pain, this reduction process helped me to embrace this God-given set even more. Although surgery took away a couple ounces of my boobage to make life what would seem easier, I am left with the scars of the past both physically from surgery and mentally. Each every day I see myself in the mirror I fall deeper in love with physical scars that the surgery has left because they tell a story of my many battles conquered.

  • Beautiful article, Tracee. You, as a young woman, are sacred, beautiful, and wise. In the deepest and truest manner, this is truth. Do not follow the herd. I am so glad you do not acsribe to the herd mentality< it's to your benefit and does whom you influence..

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  • Ty

    Real Breast without Cancer are the best! We need to appreciate them….! (.)(.)

  • Jacs

    Love the article, but, if you’re a 46DDDDD and out in public, please wear a bra! Not cute. O’kay, I’m done. lol

  • Great post, Tracee…very well said. I won’t speak in detail on my own experience, except to say that I can relate to all you said—but from the opposite side of the spectrum. I began wearing bras at 11—and was a 34 B THEN. By the time I hit 19 I was a 34 DD with an hour-glass figure. From the time I was 11, it galled—and amazed me at the same time–how my breasts always seemed to be the focal point of someone’s convo when dealing with me. Either “hating bitches”, or lascivious men. At one point wondered if I would ever know what it was like where the focus could just be on me as a person and not as a series of body parts. Anyway, 60 yrs old now(don’t look it), way past all that—and interestingly–knowing what it’s like to be viewed in the whole, rather than the parts. Nice…

  • maegan

    Thank you so much for this.

  • Jacqueline


  • Mela

    I’ve loved your work since a child in the UK watching Girlfriend reruns and oddly enough I always envied how daringly great you looked bra less. It was new to me but I always thought you looked amazing, so comfortable in yourself. After years of working out relentlessly I finally became brave enough to go bra-less a few times this summer; I loved it! This was a great topic and I’m so glad I came across it. I too I have no issue with fake busts or any form of self improvement but why not embrace your own.

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  • Karrah

    I love this post! Thoughtful AND thought-provoking. This made me laugh out loud: “They are teardrop-shaped, which is to say they’re bottom heavy. They make me feel French and I think French women are sexy.” I know you were serious but your way with words always makes me laugh. :)

  • Robyn

    Thank you Tracee, I love it! I hate wearing bras 70% of the time, they are so uncomfortable, hurt my shoulders and make me feel trapped in a, well, contraption. I do have a “good” Vicky S bra for when I want to make a fuss about my tatas, but the style of dresses I like, I usually don’t need a bra. But, I hear you, it is crazy how far we are getting away from the natural woman’s bodies and this barbie doll (sorry, no offense Barbie) image is what women should aspire to. Thanks for celebrating gals like us. -Signed Titty Committee

  • Jacky

    Well i really think you look beautiful Tracee and it would be such a lovely world if we all stopped judging each other but we should all learn to tolerate each other and not judge each other.Who knows ? the advice others give may actually help you.My mom kept telling me to stop hunching over(bending my back and shoulders forward)but i wasn’t really taking it seriously but later people started mocking me about it and the hunching affected my shape so that my curves in my hip area and my bum were not coming out well but i was busty(my boobs were big) so i later started correcting my posture and guess what ? now my curves and bum are coming out nicely and beautifully.Unwanted advice can actually help.

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  • ToneyDey

    You have beautiful breasts, don’t get the fake one’s because yours look great the way they are Tracee.

  • J. Wyndal Gordon

    Your breast, you are sexy to me. Instant Classic. Eternally Beautiful.

  • Melissa

    This article is so on point. It has resonance for me, as a big breasted woman, who developed a bit later than “normal” and spent many years of pre and early adolescence literally praying for big breasts. Ironically, now I have a set of very full D’s that serve as two large reminders to be careful what you wish for. People fetishize large breasts in such a weird way in our popular culture, yet people don’t realize what having large breasts really means…they make jogging a chore, they’re impossible to find swimsuit tops for, and they’re heavy! When I was young enough to still be covetous of large breasts, before I realized the practical reality of carrying them around all the damn time and finding clothes to flatter and fully cover them, I was basing my ideal on the images I was bombarded with in tv and magazines, and what guys seemed to like. Large boobs are saggy boobs, people! You can’t fetishize large boobs and then also criticize saggy boobs. It’s contradictory. Now, after completing the full pendulum swing of praying for bigger boobs, to resenting my big boobs when they finally arrived, I can finally say that I love my boobs — stretchmarks, sagginess and all! Not because guys like big boobs, not because popular sex symbols are big breasted, but because they’re mine!

    • Bea

      Omg it’s as I yu read my mind. I’m exactly like you. I developed late as a teen well compared to the girls I went to school with, and I remember wishing furiously for big breasts as that was what all the boys wanted. And it was also what tv glorified. And then mine actually grew and didn’t stop. Now a ddd and facing the reality of having big boobs. I always think back to when i wa younger and just wish I could take it back. I seriously did not know what I was thinking back then. Big boobs are a pain. Impossible to find bras, tops and swimming suits that fit. They are always bursting out. And exercising on the treadmill is a pain. I’ve also tried so hard to lose weight in them but they seem to be going nowhere. It’s true what they say be careful what you wish for cos they just might come true.

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  • Niki Robinson

    Hi Tracee!!! I too am a boobistah…hahaha! My breast are bottom heavy size F in a bra.I agree in that, what one chooses is their choice but I’m not exactly certain that their choosing as much as their being programmed into believing that something is wrong otherwise.When i look at my breast in the mirro,I think Damn?!?
    I am 70’s sexy, long and full!!! with freckles no less…Hee Hee:)

  • I love breasts.

  • I absolutely LOVED this. Everything about it spoke to me in the truest words and voice. I chose to celebrate and love my natural breast. Cheers!

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  • steph

    great topic! I agree. I am also attracted to all things natural and nature and the whole tree hugging nine so I get it and I actually do not think fake boobs are pretty. Its like … well, fake. It looks un-natural and I just cant get with it. For example Heidi Montag from the Hills. I thought she was SO pretty season one small chested and all and I know many who agreed she was the best looking on the show! Now that shes gotten breast enhancements (and other things) it just not the same. Anyone and Everyone can go out and get her exact same boob size and shape. You know? Like.. I dont know, i feel sexy knowing there is only one set of my knockers out there! I dont want to feel like I have the same “dress” on as anyone else when it comes to my physial body.


  • Once again, I enjoy your perspective on life, on the natural beauty of our bodies. We women especially, whom have been objectified and frankly still are, have now appreciated nor loved ourselves as natural beauties in whatever size, shape or form that is. I would love to see women be able to choose going topless as men do; another double standard in our society. Thank you for starting a discussion.

  • theMissKitaB

    I’ve always wanted to be able to go “bra-less” but my jugs are just a little too big to be swinging around freely. Slightly dangerous maybe. Haha.

    Love you & love this post! <3

  • Nish

    I just found this blog but I must say I love it already, the boob topic was so refreshing and made me happy, love it, love it, love ittttt, keep up the thoughtful an inspired conversations Ms. Ross.

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  • FireMama_x3

    i like this a lot! my mother always had me in some form of a bra since i started developing. she was kinda old school and said i needed to train & support my breasts. as a result, i was able to go w/o a bra when my boobs were young & perky. BUT after i started having babies & breastfeeding they deflated! i often wish my boobs were bigger, but i can’t stand wearing padded bras that make me look bigger than i am, so i couldn’t see myself getting implants. i still love my boobs, but i miss the way they looked before babies. even tho my boobs don’t look their size, they’re too big to go w/o a bra, in my opinion. my nipples are very prominent & my boobs move all over the place! i say do whatever makes u comfy & happy…if that’s going bra-less, getting a lift, getting implants, or wearing miracle bras, more power to u – just do u!

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  • Elle

    This was by far the most eloquent and thought provoking POV I have ever read on Natures milk producers. After 42 and breast feeding 4 babies, my husband still loves my jiggly yummies. But I’ll trade you!!

  • P from Portland Oregon

    Thank you Tracee, I have had others comment on the shape of my breast as well, actually since the age 16. They started to hang unbelievably after my first child. I found out after observation that the shape of them were definitely hereditary. I remember my friend laughing at me once, followed by the comment that I had “Cow tits,” I laughed with her but inside I was uncomfortable. About a year later, New Year’s Eve to be exact, I was getting dressed in a room full of young ladies when my best friends mother came into the room, highly intoxicated and giving my a look of disgust before blotting out, ” You’ll never be able to show a man your body.” I was seventeen at the time, I’m 35 years old now and til this day, I’ve never shown a man my body. I don’t think she realized what she’d done, and I don’t think I deserved that…

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  • Ashstyles*

    Absolutely LOVE it! AB-So-LUTE-LY boobalicious

  • Love, love, love!

  • naturalme

    It’s too bad that women succumb to what men desire or what they think they desire and give in to fake tits. I say who cares. I have no tits and am proud of the way goddess has made me. What she giveth, I keepith. :) I often wonder how women can be proud of tits that have been surgically implanted. I don’t even like using dildos. :) Besides, if men can show off their unattractive bodies, why can’t women just love themselves for who they are and show off their natural bodies? Maybe it’s a societal thing… I’ve always been way to be independent and I don’t need the attention of men.

  • eliheiss

    I love that breasts become wiser over time. This is why you are the greatest! =-)

  • eliheiss

    Also, the fact that your site is running on WordPress makes me <3 you forever.

  • The more I learn of you the more I look forward to sharing dining tables again. You continue to be fabulous!

  • Keona Anntionette

    I love this! Very inspiring!

  • I know I’m very late but just visited your site for the first time but I absolutely love this post…people have forgotten what a natural woman looks like – cheers to our boobs of all sizes and positions :)

  • Avis M Evans

    I thoroughly enjoyed your commentary. I used to watch Girlfriends and was always impressed that you always looked sexy in your clothes and your breasts made you look sexy.

  • Coco

    I love this post Ms. Ross, and thank you for sharing. I sit here proud with my natural big ol’ uneven boobs. LOL! They’re not perfect but they are mine.

  • Laneé

    Great post! I recently have been considering getting my breast done (when I have the funds to do so) and I go back and forth every few months on how I feel about the subject. Why do I want them, would they really make me feel better, would I be okay with my future child getting them? I go through this all the time, then I have months where I love my flat chest and I want to keep it that way to be an example to other girls with a flat chest to rep your titties no matter what they look like. I’ve gotten comments from people that I don’t even need to wear a bra bc they’re so little or they see them and say “awww it’s okay, poor baby”. This post really inspired me to try and learn to love my breast before I make any major changes to them.



  • Teresa

    Awesome and so true….

  • Citygal82

    Thank you Tracee!!!! And this is why I have nothing but love for you!

  • Thank the Gawds for this post! I have been tussling with the thought of getting a boob job, and mommy makeover for 3 years. I also breast fed both of my children, and approaching 40. Some girls that I deem as associates tag teamed me stating I needed to have these surgeries to feel good about myself; but I struggled with that as I traipsed to plastic surgeon office to plastic surgeon office. I applaud you for staying true to you, and I finally found the courage to do the same! xxoo

  • Erica Lowdermilk

    Really great post! I love how down to earth and honest Tracee is!

  • theonyxdiaries

    beautifully stated.

  • Hermine(Her-mean) Francique

    Awesome Miss Ross! This is so true, I love my natural apple/pears! and every time I watched you on girlfriends i use to question why you would go bra less then eventually I said to myself, ” Traci is more of a natural woman and she does not have to conform to the image if a “Hollywood society”.

  • Chlo Chlo

    This is a beautiful article!!! I was struggling for a little with my beast because I didn’t like how they “sat” and mine go all the way under my arm. I’m a C cup and I’m only 5’1 so it’s relatively a lot of boobs for a little me. I was trying everything naturally (boob exercises, wearing bras all day and night, etc.) to lift them. I finally gave up and decided to embrace them the way they naturally sit. Thank you for this beautiful article, reading it from you, such a beautiful woman and show that all boobs, my boobs are beautiful. Thank you :]

  • Well said.

  • Tiffany

    I love this! True, fake breasts (and I might add fake hair, nails and lashes, a “beat” face) are becoming the norm to the point that people have no idea what reality is.

  • Shonda Harris

    This was Very Awesome! I have never ben a top heavy girl! and my hubby ask me why I don’t go bra-less. I love mines as well, not too big not too small, just right. C-cup. We do get sucked into what society wants us to be, look like, wear, but to be our selves, our God crafted selves would be to embrace and love EVERY aspect of our natural selves. I know as a working woman I could not go bra-less, there would be stress, questions, HR visits! lol But in my personal and private life, why the hell not! hmmm. Food for thought.. thanks Tracee.

  • ADThompson

    i agree with thisnon a whole..
    As a young lady i would have women come up to me and ask me if my boobs were fake and they would i have a small petite frame and I am very topheavy..
    But i always wondereed what the infatuation was..
    As i got oldrer i understood that people may not be satisfied with who u are
    but that shouldn’t affect how i feel about who i am

  • Christian Douglas

    I identified with this post so very much, mainly because for a large part of my life I have had very negative feelings about my small breasts. I loved this article immensely because of the confidence that emanated from this article. It really inspired me to embrace my body and its beauty. Thank you so much for writing this!

  • Clara Neisess


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